I know, I know. I don’t update enough. I’m sorry. I always mean to get on here more and update. I just get so busy. I think about it a lot though, because I am out shooting some stick all the time. I just forget by the time I get home. A night of pool is just so emotionally evocative. I promise, I will get back to regularly posting soon.

One of my Facebook fans, who is also a Facebook friend, Kyle Odell, wrote a wonderful rendition of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas that I think all pool enthusiasts, even occasional players, will fully enjoy, or find cute at least. This is by far one of my favorite renditions, and I just HAD to share it with my readers and friends. He published it yesterday on Facebook and I have published it here, with permission, of course. So, without any further, unnecessary ado…

The Hustle Before Christmas, by Kyle Odell

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town,
It was silent and empty, no action was found.
The railbirds were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of jump shots danced in their heads.
The tables were quiet, the cues put away,
I went to shoot drills, though I wanted to play.
The parking lot glistened with new-fallen snow,
And the lights from the pool room gave off a faint glow.
I stopped for a minute, ’cause I’d gotten out of line.
I bore down real hard and made a bank on the nine.
When outside the door there arose such a clatter!
I ran to the window to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a jolly fat man and eight strange-looking deer.
He was dressed all in red from his head to his toe,
And he grabbed a case from his sleigh with a “Ho ho ho!”
He walked through the door and checked out the hall:
“I’m looking for action. Who plays nine ball?”
I made a small sound and he looked o’er my way.
He whipped out his cellphone and called his backers, by name:
“Hey Comet, Hey Blitzen, Hey Leroy and Scott!
I got some action, and this kid looks hot!”
He looked me up and down, in his obnoxious attire.
“Race to eleven? I’ll give you two on the wire.”
I finished the match, and beat the fat man in red,
When he smiled at his stakehorse, then turned and said:
“Do it again, kid? But I want first break….
Oh, one more thing…Double the stakes?”
I should’ve known better, but agreed just the same.
And I was amazed when I saw St. Nick’s game!
There were caroms and kick-safes before he was done,
And when he comboed the nine, I knew he had won.
So if you meet a man in red, take a moment to pause,
Or you too might get hustled by Ol’ Santa Claus.

A very special thanks to Kyle for allowing me to publish this. I hope it at least gave you a smile or a chuckle. Comments are MORE than welcome. I will make sure to pass them along in case he doesn’t come here and see them. While you’re at it, check out his friend’s awesome billiards store on eBay by clicking this link: Nielsen’s Billiards. No, I was not paid to say that. It really is a great online store. It’s too late to get a Christmas gift there, but check it out for yourself or another gifting opportunity.

Also, if you want to become my fan or friend on Facebook like Mr. Odell, please click on the Facebook logo on the sidebar and click “Become a Fan”. My profile is listed as admin on the page, so add me as a friend too. Join me on Myspace and be my friend. You can sign up for e-mail updates from my RSS feed, subscribe to my RSS feed, get my updates on Twitter… a whole bunch of stuff. I am so easy to keep up with. Go over to the subscription block on my sidebar and pick your pleasure.

I would also like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year. I can’t forget my friends of other faiths and creeds, so, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or whatever holiday you celebrate. We may celebrate different holidays, but the meaning is the same. We are celebrating something special to our faiths, and taking the time to cherish our family and those special to us. Drink lots of eggnog, and remember tomorrow is the last night before Christmas to get a few practice shots in. The bars and pool halls are mostly closed on Christmas. The cops are out and about on the holidays, so drive responsibly. (I’d say drink responsibly, but this isn’t a commercial, and who am I kidding anyway?) If you do go out tomorrow, remember… if you see a fat man in red, and it’s not me, you might be getting hustled by old St. Nick, so watch out.

Last but not least, I want to wish my friends on my old APA eight-ball team the best of luck. They hit the local playoffs and are one match away from their first state playoffs. If they make that, they win money and go to Vegas. Merry Christmas, fellas, and good luck! I’ll try to make it out there to your next playoff match!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! (Nobody sue me.)

Cheers,

Shooter